What’s going on out there?

After listening to the details behind the Virginia Tech shooting I’m left trying to make heads or tails of the whole situation. Clearly there has already been established a real pattern of this sort of thing. I can recall the first few times it happened I was immediately shocked and disturbed. This time, I totally didn’t care at first. It was just YET another shooting. After a short time I began to digest that and now am rather quite disturbed as this should most certainly never be the sort of thing to just write off. But then, isn’t this kind of thing happening ALL the time in other countries? Maybe not, but it certainly seems to me that we as a global socieity have this habit of mass killing eachother. But why? I can see some positive things that come out of it, given that tragedy unites and reminds us what’s important. But the cost is too high.

One could rant on and on about gun controls, I definitely have feelings about that being a factor, but I think this issue is a hell of it a deeper than that. This issue seems rooted in a fundamental aspect of our nature. Not to say it’s at all necessary for this sort of senseless, barbaric violence to ever take place. It makes me feel as though maybe a particlar solution has to do with communication. People learning to get their feelings discussed and do so in a positive constructive forum. It seems more and more obvious to me that a family doesn’t raise a person, but rather a whole community does. At risk of sounding like a total hippy, maybe there’s something really valuable in that.

I suppose what frightens me the most on the subject is I feel a core NEED to make sense of what the hell is going on and yet I do hear a voice in the back of my head that asks: Why do I need to make sense of this? Perhaps that whole question is rooted in a need to feel in control. Feeling in control seems directly connected to identity, living life, connected to the whole notion of respect and in turn being able to be a person. In my attempts to understand why people continue to die over this, I think maybe this is just an expression of a person not ever learning how to feel like they actually exist.

Of course, I know nothing. How many people will die before we figure this out? Will it go on forever? Is that okay? Sure as hell doesn’t seem so, but maybe there’s something fundamental about our nature here. I sure as hell don’t care if it’s our nature, it’s something I have no respect for in my world. I don’t think anyone should ever speak the names of the killers in these crimes, it’s a way of denying them existence because of what they’ve decided to do. And to be denied existence, that’s hell.

Okay I’m done ranting – blogs are great, needed to get that out, I totally don’t care if anyone reads it. But these are rather internal thoughts, still it’s posted with the hope of maybe inspiring something positive.